


Telling the Family

by starlightwalking



Series: A-Spectrum Anthology [5]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Aromantic Awareness Week, Aromantic Character, Aromantic Fíli, Coming Out, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 05:21:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6039832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlightwalking/pseuds/starlightwalking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fíli has known for a long time, though he never bothered to tell anyone else. But now he feels it's time to tell his family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Telling the Family

**Author's Note:**

> This is set as a sort-of sequel to my other fic, [A Toast to Something Else](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5253752). It includes two neo-Khuzdul words from [khuzdul4u](http://thorinsmut.tumblr.com/post/89547661918/im-about-to-send-you-a-bunch-of-asks-you-dont), bijebtorva (closest I could get to aroace) and bijebashurûn (pan), and features my headcanons of pan!Kili and ace!Tauriel.  
> There is some arophobia in this story, and Dis is not exactly the most supportive. There's also some background Kiliel.  
> Thanks for reading!

Fíli has known for a long time. Years, it seemed, though in reality it hadn't been that long. He'd never liked romance, never understood it. When Kíli had been courting Tauriel, he'd watch with detached fascination. He'd never felt that way about anyone.

It was not long after that when he discovered the term _bijebtorva_. It meant "choosing craft", as opposed to choosing males or females or all. It wasn't a common thing, but enough dwarves were _bijebtorva_ that most knew what it was. Fíli had decided that it suited him, though he never bothered to tell anyone else. It wouldn't be worth the effort.

He'd begun to change his mind, however, especially when he met another _bijebtorva_ at Kíli and Tauriel's wedding—Tauriel's old friend, Legolas.

At last, Fíli feels ready to starting telling other people. He wants to tell his brother first. He knows Kíli is _bijebashurûn_ , or "choosing all"—in the Westron, pansexual. Fíli happens to be the opposite, asexual and aromantic. Those were the Westron words, according to Legolas, and the books he had read since that meeting. Kíli would understand.

"Kíli, I've been thinking, and, well, I'm _bijebtorva_." He says it all very fast, in one breath, when he finally finds his brother alone. He steps back, his heart pounding, as he waits for Kíli's response.

His brother blinks once. Then he grins. "Oh, that's neat."

Fíli laughs a little. "That's it? That's all you have to say?"

Kíli puts an arm around him and gives him a quick half-hug. "Well, yeah. I'm proud of you, Fí. I know it's not exactly easy, figuring it out."

"Yeah." Fíli smiles.

"Am I the first person you told?" Kíli asks.

Fíli starts to nod, but then shakes his head, remembering Legolas. "Not exactly. At your wedding, I ran into Tauriel's friend Legolas. I was feeling...a little out of touch with the crowd, what with all the romance in the air. He's aromantic, too, so he noticed, and I told him. But you're the first family member, yeah."

"Tauriel's asexual," Kíli supplies. Fíli blinks. He hadn't known that. "Not aromantic, obviously, but...could I tell her? She'd love to talk about it with you, if you want."

Fíli nods, his spirits soaring. "Of course you can. She's family."

Tauriel finds him the next day. "Kíli told me you were asexual," she says, smiling as she sits down next to him.

"And aromantic, yeah," he agrees.

"I am, too—asexual, that is," she says. "It's nice to find someone else in this mountain like me." She laughs. "Being the only elf, it can be a little lonely, even with Kíli. Finding people who are like me in other ways makes me feel more like I belong."

"There are other _bijebtorva_ in Erebor," Fíli says. "I haven't made myself known to them, at least not as one of their own, but we could seek them out together."

"I am sorry that our wedding caused you discomfort," Tauriel apologizes. "Kíli told me how you met Legolas."

"Do not be," Fíli says. "It was there I met Legolas, after all, and you deserve happiness as much as I do." He cracks a smile. "Even if my happiness is not found in romance."

They talk for a few hours, and Tauriel agrees to help him come out to Dís. Fíli worries his mother will be disappointed. First her younger son marries an elf, and now her eldest doesn't want to marry at all. But he will have Kíli and Tauriel to back him up. Surely his mother will still love him...?

Dís takes it pretty well, considering. Fíli tells her, still nervous, with his brother and his sister-in-law looming protectively over him in the background.

Dís looks at him for a long time, before sighing and shaking her head. "Well, I suppose I shall have to settle for what Mahal has given me, though I would have liked some dwarven grandchildren," she says at last.

Fíli can't deny that it hurts. He seeks his mother's approval, her love, and instead she is disappointed.

" _Mother_ ," Kíli protests, affronted. "That's unfair to all of us."

Dís smiles wryly. "I'm sorry. I suppose that was insensitive." She looks back to Fíli. "You are still my son, Fíli. I love you even despite..." She trails off.

Fíli leaves soon after that, not sure if he can bear his mother's disapproval. Kíli and Tauriel embrace him comfortingly.

"She will come around," Kíli says firmly. "She just...after Tauriel and I, she had hoped for a more normal son in you. But she is wrong to wish you any way other than the way you are."

"Will you tell Thorin?" Tauriel asks.

Fíli closes his eyes. "I don't know. If Mother disapproves, I don't think he will be very happy either."

"It is not as if Thorin has any children," Kíli counters. "Nor do I think he wishes a bride."

"That may be for other reasons," Fíli says. "But you are right." He squares his shoulders. "It feels good to tell people, anyway. I feel I can be more honest now, not hide this part of who I am."

Kíli and Tauriel offer to accompany him when he comes out to Thorin, but he declines this time around.

Fíli finds his uncle in his study, reading official reports. He knocks on the wall to get Thorin's attention.

"Fíli, come in," Thorin says. "How are you?"

"I'm alright," Fíli says, shrugging. "Thorin, there's something I want to tell you." He feels awkward saying that, every time. Just bringing it up out of nowhere feels odd, especially when coming out is already so nerve wracking.

"What is it?" Thorin asks.

Fíli takes a deep breath. "I'm _bijebtorva_."

Thorin stares at him for a moment, clearly caught off guard by his nephew's sudden proclamation. Fíli waits in the nervous silence, desperate for his approval.

"Well..." Thorin begins at last, "I cannot say I am surprised." He smiles, and Fíli's anxieties melt away. "Come here, Fíli," he says. Fíli walks over and is surprised by Thorin's rough embrace.

"You deserve all the gems in the mountain, lad," his uncle whispers. "I am so proud of you."

Fíli hugs his uncle back tightly, trying to repress the tears budding in his eyes. When he finally lets go, he wipes his eyes and laughs. "I was afraid you would disapprove," he admits. "I am your heir, after all. I'm supposed to ensure the continuation of the line of Durin."

"Nonsense," Thorin says briskly. "You're my nephew first. Besides, you are my heir only because I have no children myself. That would never be an issue. Since Kíli and Tauriel's children...well, if they have any, they won't be in line for the throne, but there are others with royal blood, Fíli. Dáin, and his son. There will always be heirs."

Fíli's mouth twists in a bitter half-smile. "That's not how Mother feels."

Thorin's brows furrow and his eyes darken. "I'll talk with her."

"Kíli thinks she'll come around." Fíli shrugs. "I hope so, at least. She said she still loves me, but...she just wants a normal son."

"There's nothing wrong with being _bijebtorva_ ," Thorin says firmly. "You are just as normal as the rest of us."

Fíli flashes Thorin a grateful look. It helps.

Dís does come around, eventually. After word gets out, Fíli receives protests from various noble dwarves about succession and "royal integrity", whatever that was supposed to mean. The offense to her son is what makes Dís finally step up and defend him alongside Kíli and Thorin. Fíli is grateful, especially since her apology is sincere, and he issues his own proclamation on the subject. It says, in no uncertain terms, that he is _bijebtorva_ and that his personal affairs are his own business. Thorin stamps it with his seal, and the effect is immediate. There are no more complaints.

Once Fíli is comfortable in his identity, he searches out others like him. He talks about his experiences, tries to be a good prince and role model, tells all of Erebor that there are those who do not fall in love. And at the end of the day, even when people don't listen, he knows he has done his best. He will be a good king one day, so they say, and he has his family and his people and his friends. And that is all he could ever wish for.


End file.
